Friday, July 23, 2010

The One with the Third Trimester

What To Expect (the equivalent of the Bible in a pregnant woman's life) says that today I embark on the journey known as the third trimester. It's the final 12-week stretch until this baby in my belly makes his big debut. How do I feel?
Scared.
Nervous.
Anxious.
I'm freaking out.
I have no idea what I'm doing.
What have I gotten us in to?
Not to mention all the aches, pains, constipation, heartburn, indigestion, flatulence, bloating, headaches, faintness, dizziness, sensitive gums, leg cramps, backaches, swelling of ankles, feet, hands, and face, protruding naval, Braxton Hicks, clumsiness, crazy scattered dreams, and more, just to name a few side effects... Maybe I should have read ahead in this book before convincing Chris to start a family! OH, and yesterday morning I found my first stretch marks! But they're totally not in a place I even expected. Not my belly or boobs, but on my left cheek! And I'm not talking about my face...
In the end I know everything will work out and really it's not like all of these pregnancy symptoms happen at the same time or even on a daily basis. I'm actually quite comfortable and happy. For now :)

Then I start thinking of all the things that need to happen in the next 12 weeks and I freak out a little bit. We need to buy a crib, changing table, some sort of dresser or armoire because the second "bedroom" doesn't even have a closet (so technically it's not even a bedroom!), diapers, diaper wipes, creams, ointments, and literally 7 entire pages of STUFF. Babies require a lot of things! On our budget the month of August is appropriate titled "Operation: Baby".

Then I start thinking about actual labor and delivery and I really start to freak out. My OB is....how can I put this nicely....less than helpful. At the beginning of every chapter in What To Expect there's a list of "What You Can Expect at This Month's Checkup." My OB has yet to do any of the things on the list. Basically at each appointment, I walk in, wait for an hour (grrrrr), the doctor mozies on in, she squirts some jelly on my belly, moves the scanner thing around for a few seconds, snaps a picture, and calls it good. THAT'S IT! I'm like HELLO! FIRST TIME PREGNANT GIRL HERE! I HAVE A BAZILLION AND ONE QUESTIONS!
For example:
Where am I supposed to go if I start to go into early labor? I'm totally serious, I have no idea which hospital I'm delivering at. Who is going to deliver my baby? My OB? Am I supposed to be signed up for birthing classes? Sometimes I can feel him move all over inside, but for the past few days he's been waaaaaay down low in my abdomen. Is this normal? Why am I the one who has to ask questions? Mommy I need you. I just wish my OB would be a little more invested in me and my current situation. I get that she sees hundreds of pregnant woman a day, but still, I have feelings and questions and I wish she'd ease my worries and fill me in on what's going on. Thank goodness for family and friends who have been there done that! Just remind me to switch OBs if we decide to have another baby while living here.

With that, all of my feelings and emotions put out there into virtual space, I leave you with some pics:
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19 comments:

Amy Heller said...

Oh, Paige! I feel what you are going through. With your OB, make sure you speak up. They do this 1000 times a day, so unless you speak up they won't know what you might want to know. Some dr's are really good about asking if you have questions, but some aren't. When I was having my first, I brought in a list, EVERY visit. And make sure you get everything answered to your satisfaction. It is a scary time, just because it's all new and unknown. You are going to do great! Just make sure you are your own advocate and get those questions answered! That's their job :) BTW you look beautiful!

Amy Coose said...

Having your first child can be so scary, especially if you have an OB who is not taking the time to guide you. You have to just trust yourself, and your body. If you think your having contractions, call and talk to someone at the OB office. There's just so much 'unknown' that goes with having your first. Never take a chance, if you think you might be in labor, go get checked--you're not putting them out or bothering them, it's their job to make sure everything is on track. Just think how much easier the next pregnancy will be. You'll be a pro. With my first, I went in with contractions (about 10 min apart), was 1 cm/80 % effaced and my water broke within 15 min of getting to the hospital. I had false labor with my 2nd, and went in and they sent me home. She was born a week later. Hang in there, and remember it's the OB's job to take care of you and answer your questions!

Roger and Tasha said...

I totally understand! I have to ask questions all the time!! We signed up for birthing classes and thought they were a huge help!! The Hospital did them. I am getting nervous too I am dilated to almost a 3 and I am just "waiting". Its rough but exciting but scary!! ahhhhh!! I will be sure to answer any questions you have about labor and delivery after I deliver!! I am due next week but she could come anytime!! :) Good luck with your third trimester. I felt pretty good most of the time until about the 36-37th week and I get so winded just walking!!

lyndsey said...

oh paige. yay for the third trimester, but boo for everything else. i feel your pain! i practically had a nervous breakdown every day for weeks around that time. hang in there, it will get better -- and talk to you OB more! that chick [dude?] sounds lame. and ask people in your ward for advice on hospitals, birthing classes, etc -- with the zillion babies in south pas, i'm sure you'll find plenty of info :) good luck friend, you'll be okay!

Cherie said...

I am totally unqualified to give you advice seeing as I have no children. Your belly is adorale! Hang in there and I wish you all the best!

Jen said...

That's such a bummer about your OB. My OB was kinda sucky too. I say change now before it's too close to the end.

Brenda Weaver said...

I agree with the others who mentioned taking a list. Write down all the questions you have and make sure you speak up about them. Being a first time parent is a little scary and there are a hundred and one things you will want to know about.
I also agree that birthing classes are very helpful. They will help prepare you for the kinds of things you might be able to expect to happen in the last trimester of your pregnancy and and delivery.
don't worry, you'll do just fine.
One thing, though. Remember to try not to get too excited if/when they tell you that you're a few centimeters dilated and that the baby could come "any time". It's true, but you can also go for a few weeks like that. Ask me how I know! That happened with my first one, and it made the last few weeks go by even more slowly. Torture!
You look lovely!

Elisabeth said...

If you call the receptionist at your OB's office, they can probably tell you what hospital(s) your doctor delivers at. After that, the hospital will probably have a birthing class, which I would definitely recommend. I would also recommend a breastfeeding class if you're planning on doing that. Ours was included with the birthing class, but they might not all be.

Brad and Shanell Farr said...

I agree with bringing a list of questions to your OB and making sure you get every question answered. Also we sis a lamaze/birthing class and it was really fun and informative. During one of the classes they gave us a tour of the maternity section of the hospital and showed us exactly where to go when we were in labor! We did this at Huntington Hospital up in Pasadena. Most people around here deliver at that hospital but there is also Methodist, and San Gabriel, I'd call your Dr's office and see where they are planning on having you deliver. From there you can call the hospital and see what classes they offer. If anything else you can just go for a free tour and that helps a lot as well! Feel free to ask me any questions you have!! You look great! And don't worry about the delivery part... it's so amazing and you'll be more worried about your baby and if he's doing ok than yourself, that's the beauty of it!

♥k said...

Everything is gonna work out in the end :) If I were you, the next time I had an appointment I wouldn't let the doctor leave the room until she had answered all of my questions. And definetly sign up for a birthing class if you want to know what to expect. Luckily my mother was a labor and delivery nurse for years and years so I had my own private teacher :) Your gonna do amazing no matter what! And once little Fox is here your motherly instinct will just take over and be so helpful to you :)

Anonymous said...

I have to admit I went into my first labor/delivery pretty much clueless. I didn't take any classes and my OB/GYN was kind of like yours, although I did know what hospital I would deliver at. It all works out. I have two children and they were both two totally different experiences. I had placenta previa with my 2nd. That was a little scary, but totally worked out fine. As to the actual labor/delivery, your nurse will become invaluable -- the doctor just periodically checks on you so you'll learn far more from the nurse. I think my OB/GYN gave me all the labor/delivery information at my 8 month checkup. You're looking good, experiencing all the normal pregnancy stuff, and your little boy will be fortunate to have you as parents. You probably would learn a lot in a class -- call your local hospital and see what they have available -- don't wait any longer because they do fill up quick. Hang in there!

Chris said...

Um....I love you?

Paula said...

Oh Paige! I understand...I went through this less than 6 months ago. I felt the same way with my OBGYN...she was so impersonal and always gave me unsatisfactory answers. It was too stressful for me to switch OB's, but it worked out and now I dont have to see her again! You're not late with taking classes if you are interested. Some hospitals have a one-full-day Lamaze class from 9-5pm. You can register online. There's also classes on how to care for a newborn, like how to swaddle, bathe, change diaper, etc. But your instinct can teach you all this just as well!! I asked my doctor which hospital she was affiliated with to know which hospitals were my options. And I asked her if I was supposed to call her or the hospital first if I thought I was going into labor. She told me to go to the hospital (and they would call her if I'm admitted) once I'm having contractions every 5 minutes for an hour. What I'm trying to say is that your OB has the answers and she will help you if you ask. I remember feeling intimidated and embarrassed thinking my questions where dumb, but you're a smart girl, so ask away! One last thing: don't feel like you have to buy one of each thing at Babies R Us or Target...they want your money. Ask someone you trust for a "basics" list and you'll be surprised! The only thing a baby absolutely needs is a mommy and diapers/wipes!

Erica said...

It can be really scary not knowing what to expect so do make sure the dr answers your questions. You can always call me to :) I may not be able to answer all of your questions but I've been on TONS of deliveries. :) And remember absolutely no question that you have is a dumb question, so just ask away!

Kings said...

I totally know how you feel... But really it all works out. Don't be nervous about delivering. I loved it!! Best day ever!! And my dr was the same way. I started to ask more questions the third trimester too and I think it broke the ice and she shared more information. Speak up!! You will be happy you did!! I'm so excited for you!!!

Melanie said...

It has been great reading through your post and everyone's comments. I've had five children--each a different experience. My first OB was awful and I changed to a midwife at 37 weeks. No regrets on changing at all. Your OB may not even be the one that delivers you at the hospital. Oh, and if you don't like your delivery nurse--you can ask for a different one. It can make a HUGE difference in your birthing experience.

Definitely do a class beforehand. And like Elisabeth said, you totally don't need all of that stuff. In fact, just get a FEW basics and as the weeks go by your realize what you really need and what you don't need. I finally figured that out by baby #3.

You look fabulous! Be sure to take that list of questions with you next time. And check to see if your OB will be the one to deliver or if it is just who is "on-call" at the time.

Good luck!

*reyanna klein* said...

Wow, you've gotten LOTS of advice and comments on this post! LOL.

First off, how cute is your belly?!?! I LOVE it! :-)

If it were me, I would have changed docs by now. LOL. Sorry. :-p What a doody-head your OB is! I'm so sorry!

We won't be getting a changing table because you can't really use it after the baby is out of diapers. To save money, we're getting ANY dresser from CL or whatever... and putting this on top: http://www.landofnod.com/family.aspx?c=8099&f=5534

They have some REALLY cute covers too! And you could also get this if you want to set the pad in a tray: http://www.landofnod.com/family.aspx?c=361&f=6158

I'm stoked about this because I really want to save money and space! :-) And one less piece of furniture in the nursery? Yes, please! :-D

Again, you look great! Thanks for taking us through this journey with you! And I'm glad you're feeling well! :-) Hang in there! You can do this! :-D

*reyanna klein* said...

On more thing! LOL. ... I totally agree with Paula and Melanie! I'm SO glad I have my sister to tell me, "you don't need that. you don't need that." She is the QUEEN of saving money, and she is amazing when it comes to saving money/stuff with kids!

And you know John and Sherry from Young, House, Love?! They're a pretty awesome resource too! They just got the basics, and they said they're so glad they did! They said they bought 3 bottles, but really only need ONE! LOL. I read their blog so much now, thanks to you! :-) And I'm getting a pretty awesome/basics list from their baby knowledge. :-)

Sell...Party Of 4 said...

Best advice I got with Savannah...

No one has ever had your Savannah, you are her Mommy...you will know what to do.

I thought it was cheesy, until I realized it is true. You get to decide what is best for your baby. You will instantly know what your baby does and doesn't like.


There is always a nurse, friend, Mom to ask questions if you don't know...and trust me, I haven't met a Mommy that didn't like to talk about babies!

You are gonna do a fab job, because that is how you roll!